Rage Needs Company: A Post-Election Reflection
When we talk about that which will sustain and nurture our spiritual growth as a people, we must once again talk about the importance of community. For one of the most vital ways we sustain ourselves is by building communities of resistance, places where we know we are not alone. —bell hooks
Written on Saturday, November 9, 2024
This morning, I am grieving a decision not to go to one of the few spaces that make this small city feel a little more like home. It may seem unfair or unwarranted. But it must be done. Do you have those moments when you know that you must act within your soul without a need for wrestling or advice seeking? When you are fully persuaded of an action that you need to take.
The lovely space rests in a brick building adjoined to a spa, beer and wine shop, and salon. It looks like it could be the backdrop of a Hallmark movie.
For the past year or so, I have enjoyed spending Saturday mornings in a yoga studio. This minimalistic room with exposed brick lit up by sun rays has been a space that cultivates reduced distraction and settles my soul. When my alarm sounds, I usually want to stay in bed on one of the only days that I can sleep late. Yet, I emerge because my body needs it. On a typical week, I spend about fifteen hours in a car and even more sitting at a desk. I never thought I would enjoy having a regular yoga practice, but spending time weekly engaging in mindful moving, breathing, and being present has nourished my life. The instructor radiates kindness and is skilled in her practice. The class has become an enriching community for me.
Therefore the decision not to go today feels peculiar, yet necessary. I do not write to judge nor shame. But I do not know how to move, breathe, and be present with bodies that may have voted against our collective wellbeing. I do not know how the other attendees voted, but based on the statistics, it is highly likely that there will be multiple bodies in the room who voted differently than me. My body can no longer be settled in certain spaces. Not because I don’t trust God or I need homogeneous human gatherings, but because I need to be in spaces where I am seen and my rage is welcome. I do not need to be in rooms with people who only think or vote the way that I do, but right now, I need reciprocity in my rage. Because underneath this deep anger is sadness. Although I have been the only many times, I cannot today. I cannot be in community with others who are content or unbothered by their decision to unleash havoc and harm upon multitudes. I am choosing to not be in rooms where the prevalence of privilege keeps people from lamenting this reality. I need to be with folks who are disturbed and going to do something about it. How do I sit in child's pose with women posing to honor the light within me?
Voting for a white savior figure who has a history of publicly spewing abhorrent statements, assaulting women, and trivializing concerns of marginalized communities is not something that I can be passive about. I cannot wrap my mind around it. No amount of deep breaths and flow sequences will change what my body knows. I pray and I rage. I trust God and I am angered by ungodly actions. I have heard professors encourage us to lean in with curiosity and learn more about why our neighbors, friends, and colleagues voted differently from us. Eventually, I may be moved to such a curiosity. There is morality, civility, and a list of items on a long list of actions about which I cannot be blasé.
We cannot support Black women only winning on the basketball and tennis courts and not the Supreme Court. I need to share space with people who are cheering us on and believe that we can lead Fortune 500s as CEOs and a nation as Commander in Chief. I do not need us to agree on political ideology or believe that any POTUS will be our salvation. Yet, I want to believe that Women of Color are seen, valued, and taken seriously in a country that uses their bodies for labor and thriving. Will whiteness always win? Perhaps in this age it will. Not whiteness as a race but as a supremacist ideal. I want to work towards one in which it will not--in which the kindom of God will reign and reject all supremacies and hypocracises where we choose dollars over decency and horror over humanity. Where love trumps all our madness.
One day I may return to that studio space, but not today. This season is for rest and moving with people who are for my flourishing. Lamenting, dining, laughing, dancing and figuring out ways to resist the empire.
Do what you need to be well. Do what you need to pursue peace.
Choose spaces that are committed to your flourishing. And when this is not possible, do what you need to do for your well-being.
May your body settle. May you feel loved. May you be at peace. May your rest be restorative.
May the Holy Spirit breathe upon you when the spaces you once breathed deeply in are no longer options.
How are you caring for yourself?
What community or gathering may you need to opt out of to care for you?
What hard words are you praying to tend to the raging storm within?
